I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the assumptions we make about people; people we know, people we just met, even people that are complete strangers.

These assumptions are what help our brains decide what “category” we want to put people into, what they are “like,” and if we want to connect with them or not.

Along with this, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about assumptions people have made about me.

During the course of my separation and divorce over the past almost four years, friends and colleagues have remarked on how “easy” I have made it look. Some have even said, “nothing bothers you, you’re so lucky, you’ve sailed through this unscathed.”

Well, that is definitely an assumption!! One, I can say with certainty is far from the reality of my journey.

What people didn’t see was how I worked each day looking for support, places to grieve, places to heal, and places to be seen in my darkest moments.

The thing I didn’t do was share that with everyone in my path. I guess that made it easy for others to make the assumptions they did about me, which made the assumptions about me accurate to those who weren’t a part of my “healing team” as I called them.

I gathered a couple of dear friends, a coach, reiki healers, my personal trainer, my parents, my therapist, my church, my coaching school, and last but not least, my beloved dogs, and we went to work on this process of healing and growth that has made my life richer in every way.

So, my point is that what we assume is someone’s reality very well may not be.


We are all traveling our own paths and looking for our healing.


Next time you look at someone and assume they ‘have it all together,” maybe just maybe they don’t. Perhaps they are on their own journey of healing.

When you feel that sense of jealousy or defeat (which is totally human, by the way), maybe just whisper to yourself, “They are on their own journey, and the outside isn’t always showing the whole story.”